Thanksgiving isn’t just about hours of prep, food, and football — it’s a time to focus on what truly matters — family. Beyond the turkey and pumpkin pie, Thanksgiving offers a meaningful opportunity to reflect on your family’s legacy and start conversations that can shape your family’s future for generations to come.
This year, as you gather to celebrate, please consider how you can set the stage to go beyond the meal, or political argument, and try to get to the heart of what matters most — your family’s history, stories, values, and legacy. That’s why we thought we’d take a few minutes to review some Thanksgiving tips and traditions that could help shape the future of your family’s legacy.
Legacy Planning: A Positive Topic For Thanksgiving This Year
When most people think about estate planning, the focus is often on financial assets. But a true family legacy is about so much more — stories, traditions, and values passed down through generations. These are the things that form the foundation of a meaningful legacy for your family and often mean more than money ever could. Your grandkids will not know, or remember, how much money you left to their parents, but they will remember the stories, memories, letters, and videos that you leave behind.
This Thanksgiving, instead of frantically worrying about food prep, zoning out to football, or getting into what seems to be the annual political argument that everyone is dreading — use this year’s annual gathering as an opportunity to be curious and learn about your family history and things you may have never known about your family members.
For my wife and I, this holiday season will be the first without her Father and I know that this will be a difficult time. Yet, as I reflect on the last year and her Father’s final weeks, my biggest takeaway was how much I learned about him that I never knew in those last days. Like the nerd I am, I sat with my notebook and pen and anytime he launched into the latest tale about his family members, his childhood, or the adventures he had been on, I vigorously wrote them down. As I sat there, I was astonished that I had never heard these stories before. After 10 years of regularly spending time with this man, it was shocking how much there was that I didn’t know about him, his family, his upbringing, and the accomplishments of my wife’s family members. As I look back, what if I didn’t get the opportunity to spend those last few weeks with him, what if he didn’t get to tell his grandkids the stories about his grandfather in WWI, pass down his family’s most prized possession and heirlooms, along with the stories? What if we didn’t get to share those moments that I hope to pass onto my daughter about her grandfather?
Preserving Family Memories During the Holidays
The stories and memories shared at Thanksgiving are priceless. This holiday is the perfect time to capture those moments and ensure they’re preserved for future generations. By doing so, you can begin a new tradition, create unforgettable memories, and begin documenting your family history that will last for generations.
Holiday gatherings naturally bring families together, making them an ideal time to discuss the past, present, and future. These conversations don’t need to be formal—they can arise naturally through shared activities and meaningful moments (just have that notebook, or your phone handy to jot down anything important):
- Discuss Family History & Values: During your Thanksgiving Dinner, use this amazing opportunity to spread some gratitude amongst your family and start a new tradition, or add to them. Merely as suggestions, you could ask your family members to share:
- What do they value most about being part of the family?
- What do they remember most about the holidays as a child?
- Are there any family traditions they would like to continue?
- What do they remember most about their parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, great grandparents? Essentially, run through your family tree with them and ask about all your relatives that you never had the chance to get to know personally.
- What are their greatest memories and accomplishments?
- If they could go back 20 years, what do they wish they knew then that they know now?
- What was the greatest piece of advice they ever received?
- What values and character traits are most important to them and what helped them get ahead in life?
- Is there anything they want to be remembered by?
- Explore The Future: As a family, you can use the holidays to discuss the future of your family. Is there anything truly important that you need to know about your parent’s wishes? How would they like to be cared for in old age, how would they like their money to be managed, do they have any specific desires, requests, or bucket-list items that they’d like to complete? What are they truly passionate about? Are there any causes that they care about and want to support? You could even discuss how to incorporate charitable giving into your family’s legacy plan, whether through volunteering, or financial support. You may even find a new tradition to incorporate into the holidays as a family to give back to your community.
- Recognize Family Dynamics: Holiday gatherings often reveal important family dynamics. Who are the natural peacemakers? Who is organized and detail-orientated? Who might need additional support? Identifying these roles can help you understand the dynamic of your family and you can begin to identify each of your family members’ strengths and weaknesses to determine what roles each of you do well, and where each of you may need some help and support. When it comes to families in crisis, our goal in estate planning is to help families identify these roles, so that we can help foster harmony and minimize potential conflicts amongst families based on these intimate and personal family dynamics that only close family members would be aware of.
These discussions aren’t just about estate planning—they’re about ensuring your family’s shared values and goals are preserved for generations. As you enjoy Thanksgiving together, invite older relatives and family members to share stories about past Thanksgivings, or these important life events. Just remember that every family member needs a nerd like me, who will document and record these moments to create something that can be passed down for years to come.
Capturing Your Family’s Story
Thanksgiving often inspires storytelling. From reminiscing about past holidays to sharing family recipes, these moments create a rich tapestry of memories that form the foundation of your family’s legacy. Here are a few ways to capture these moments:
- Record Recipes and Their Stories: Grandma’s famous stuffing isn’t just about ingredients—it’s about history. Document recipes and include their backstories, memories behind them, and tales of past family members. If possible, ask family members to write them down in their handwriting for added sentimental value.
- Start a Family Interview Tradition: Set aside time for younger generations to ask older relatives about their childhood, life lessons, and family history. Record these conversations to create a lasting archive of your family’s legacy.
- Share Family Artifacts: Bring out old photos, heirlooms, or letters to spark conversations about their significance. Use these discussions to explain why these items are meaningful and how they reflect your family’s journey.
Our Family, Wealth & Legacy Planning Process includes a legacy interview designed to preserve your family’s stories and traditions, ensuring they remain a vital part of your estate plan and the legacy you will leave behind. We do this to plant a seed for our clients and their families that documenting their family history, stories, memories, and life lessons are invaluable for future generations. I only wish I had videos and letters written by my grandparents and great-grandparents passing down a lifetime of wisdom that unfortunately has died with them. I never knew them and wish that I had something more than a photograph to remember them by. You have the chance this holiday season to begin a new tradition and provide that gift to future generations of your family.
Building Legacy Planning Into Thanksgiving Traditions
Legacy planning is not a one-time event—it’s an ongoing process that can be woven into your holiday traditions. Consider these ideas:
- Create a Family Time Capsule: Each Thanksgiving, add meaningful items like short letters or notes from each family member, photos marking important milestones from that year, or small keepsakes to a time capsule.
- Write a Family Mission Statement: Collaboratively create and update a mission statement that reflects your family’s shared values and aspirations.
- Document Family History: Use this gathering to update your family tree, stories, history, discuss your family members wishes, medical histories, or anything important to your family.
These intentional practices make legacy planning a natural part of your Thanksgiving traditions, ensuring your family’s future is built on a strong foundation of shared values and memories.
By incorporating not only delicious dishes, but meaningful discussions into your Thanksgiving traditions, you can take an important step toward preserving your family’s legacy. Ready to turn your reflections into action? Book a complimentary 15-minute consultation to learn how FWLLS can help your family protect what matters most.
This article is a service of Family Wealth & Legacy Legal Solutions (FWLLS). At FWLLS, we do not just draft documents; we ensure you make educated, informed, and empowered decisions for yourself and the people you love. That’s why we offer a Family Wealth & Legacy Strategy Session™, during which you will get educated and begin to prepare to avoid life’s most common legal problems and get a plan in place to make the best possible choices for the people you love. You can begin by calling our office today to schedule a Family Wealth & Legacy Strategy Session and mention this article to find out how to get this $900 session at a significantly discounted rate, or even for free.