When a family in Oakbrook Terrace, IL loses a spouse, the paperwork rarely matches the promises that were made at the funeral. That is the lesson I learned inside my own family, long before I became an estate planning attorney serving Naperville, Downers Grove, Hinsdale, and the rest of DuPage County. Without a properly funded trust, a Will filed under 755 ILCS 5/6-1, or beneficiary designations that match a family’s actual wishes, DuPage County Circuit Clerk records and the Wheaton courthouse fill every week with estates that ended up with the wrong people — legally, and by accident.
This is my family’s story. I share it with every client who sits across from me, because it explains, better than any statistic could, why estate planning is not a document you file away. It is a decision you make on purpose, before life makes it for you.
A Promise Made at a Funeral
My grandfather passed away unexpectedly at 42. He left behind a young family and, according to my grandmother, money that had been specifically set aside for his daughters. At the funeral, and in the months after, she reassured my mother and her sisters that they would be taken care of.
My mother was only 20 years old at the time. Talking about money with her own mother felt intrusive, almost disrespectful, so soon after losing her father. She said nothing. It is a silence she has regretted for the rest of her life.
Far too often, the most important financial conversation a family will ever have is the one everyone agrees, without saying so, not to have.
A Second Marriage Quietly Rewrote Everything
My grandmother eventually remarried. She and her second husband stayed together for thirteen years, and over that time, the assets she brought into the marriage, including the very death benefits her first husband had left behind, were retitled into joint accounts and joint property with her new spouse.
Nobody sat down and decided that my mother and her sisters would eventually be cut out. It happened the way these things usually do: quietly, one signature and one account transfer at a time, because it was the convenient way to manage money as a couple. What happens if no one ever revisits that decision? In our family, we found out.
Reach out to schedule a consultation on your estate plan, and let’s make sure your legacy reaches exactly who you intend it to.
How Does Joint Tenancy Work in Illinois?
Illinois recognizes several ways two people can hold title together, and the difference matters more than most families realize. Under the Illinois Joint Tenancy Act, 765 ILCS 1005/1, property or an account titled in joint tenancy with right of survivorship passes automatically and entirely to the surviving owner the moment the other owner dies. There is no probate, no reference to a will, and no consideration of who the deceased owner actually wanted to inherit the asset.
Here’s the reality: a right of survivorship functions like a built-in beneficiary designation, and it overrides a Will every time. When my grandmother passed away, her second husband did not need a court order, a probate case, or anyone’s permission. By law, everything titled jointly became his, in full, the instant she died.
He did send my mother and her sisters a small check a few months later. He was not required to. The bulk of the estate – the accounts, the property, and what remained of my grandfather’s original legacy stayed solely in his name.
This is precisely the kind of outcome a properly structured estate plan is built to prevent. A revocable trust, unlike a jointly titled account, lets you decide exactly who receives an asset and when even after you are gone, and even if your spouse remarries.
When He Passed, Her Father’s Legacy Passed to Someone Else’s Children
A few years after my grandmother’s death, her second husband passed away too. Because those assets were now part of his individual estate, they were distributed according to his plan, not hers and certainly not my grandfather’s. His own children inherited everything.
My mother and her sisters, the people my grandfather actually worked his whole life to provide for — received nothing further. If a probate case had ever been necessary for their father’s original share, it would have given a judge and a public record something to reference. Joint tenancy skipped that step entirely and skipped my mother and her sisters right along with it.
Decades Later, the Sting Hasn’t Faded
It has been decades since my grandmother passed, and this story still comes up at family gatherings, usually followed by a long, uncomfortable pause. My mother has told me many times that she wishes she had pushed past her discomfort and had one honest, private conversation with her mother about the plan and her wishes, while there was still time to change it.
Whether you realize it or not, this is the outcome so much of estate planning exists to prevent: not a family torn apart by greed, but a family quietly separated from its own legacy by a legal default nobody meant to trigger.
What This Means for Families in Oak Brook, Naperville, and Downers Grove
I see versions of my family’s story regularly in DuPage County, particularly among households that look a lot like the one I grew up in and the ones I now represent: young, hardworking families in Oak Brook, Hinsdale, Clarendon Hills, Westmont, Elmhurst, and Wheaton who are building real wealth, buying homes in neighborhoods with strong schools, and blending families through remarriage.
Second marriages, blended families, and jointly titled brokerage or bank accounts are not inherently dangerous. But if you don’t have a plan that accounts for what happens after a remarriage, a spouse’s death, or a stepparent’s own estate, the law will decide for you, and it will not ask whether that outcome matches what you actually wanted for your children. This is where family law and estate planning genuinely overlap: a prenuptial or postnuptial agreement, paired with a properly funded trust, is often the only thing standing between your children and a story like my mother’s.
How a Trust Prevents This From Happening to Your Family
A revocable living trust does something a joint account or a will alone cannot: it lets you keep control of who ultimately receives an asset, in what order, and under what circumstances, regardless of what happens to a surviving spouse afterward. Assets titled correctly in a trust do not automatically default to a new spouse’s family simply because a marriage happened after your death.
A trust also keeps the entire matter private and out of the public court record, avoids the delay of opening a case with the DuPage County Circuit Clerk, and gives your family clear, written instructions instead of a well-intentioned verbal promise made at a funeral.
Practical Steps We Recommend to DuPage County Families
- Review how every account and piece of real estate is actually titled, not how you assume it’s titled.
- Replace informal joint ownership with a properly funded revocable trust where appropriate.
- Update your plan immediately after a remarriage, divorce, or the death of a spouse.
- Have the direct, uncomfortable conversation about your wishes while you still can, and do it in writing, not just out loud.
For a deeper, practical guide to protecting your family’s wishes before life changes unexpectedly, watch for my upcoming book–Life Happens: Are You Ready? It offers clear, compassionate guidance to help families avoid the confusion, conflict, and lost opportunities that can follow an incomplete estate plan.
Frequently Asked Questions
A: No. A joint account with right of survivorship passes entirely to the surviving co-owner by operation of law, regardless of what your will says or what you intended. If you want specific assets to reach your children, they generally need to be titled in a trust or otherwise designated directly to them.
A: Once an asset becomes jointly titled with a new spouse, it is treated as that new spouse’s property upon your spouse’s death. When your spouse’s new partner later passes away, those assets typically become part of that person’s own estate and pass to their own heirs, not back to your children.
A: Often, yes. A will only controls assets that are titled in your individual name at your death and that pass through probate. It has no authority over jointly titled accounts, transfer-on-death designations, or property with a built-in right of survivorship, which is exactly why families end up with outcomes their will never intended.
A: A probate case in DuPage County is opened by filing a petition with the 18th Judicial Circuit Court at the courthouse in Wheaton, requesting Letters of Office so an executor or administrator can be authorized to act on the estate’s behalf. This process takes time, becomes part of the public record, and is one of the main reasons families with straightforward wishes choose a trust instead.
A: My family’s story didn’t need a villain. It needed one honest conversation and one properly structured plan, and it would have ended differently. If you are raising a family in Oak Brook, Naperville, Downers Grove, or anywhere else in DuPage County, I would rather help you have that conversation now than have your children hear a version of my mother’s story twenty years from now.
About Oak Brook Estate Planning Attorney Michael Biederstadt
Michael Biederstadt founded Family, Wealth & Legacy Legal Solutions with one mission: to keep DuPage County families out of court and out of conflict—and to protect them from life’s most common legal problems: death, disability, and divorce.
Michael’s approach is unique because he addresses the intersection of estate planning and family law, ensuring that a client’s legal strategy protects both their assets and their family dynamics. For nearly two decades of practice in the Chicagoland area—beginning in 2007 and expanding through his firm FWLLS, founded in 2023—he has seen firsthand how a lack of integrated planning can unravel even the best intentions.
At FWLLS, Michael leads a comprehensive four-meeting planning process that puts education first. This ensures clients make informed decisions today while benefiting from ongoing three-year review meetings to keep their plans current as their lives evolve. FWLLS works alongside each client’s financial and tax advisors to build a coordinated strategy, not just a set of documents.
FWLLS is located at 17W635 Butterfield Road, Suite 318, in Oakbrook Terrace, serving families throughout Oak Brook, Naperville, Downers Grove, and all of DuPage County. To start the conversation, book a free 15-minute introductory call at fwlls.com/book-a-call or call (630) 233-4223.
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This article is a service of Family, Wealth & Legacy Legal Solutions (FWLLS). At FWLLS, we do not just draft documents — we ensure you make educated, informed, and empowered decisions for yourself and the people you love.